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February 14, 2006

Today's Bush Joke Humor & Fun

Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney. — David Letterman

Something I just found out today about the incident. Do you know that Dick Cheney tortured the guy for a half hour before he shot him? — Jay Leno

Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects...But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about...Moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted — it's just not worth it. — Jon Stewart

The Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78- year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Wittington's face. — Rob Corddry

The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep. — Craig Ferguson

But all kidding aside, and in fairness to Dick Cheney, every five years he has to shed innocent blood or he violates his pact with the devil. — Jimmy Kimmel

Posted by Jonathan at February 14, 2006 11:06 AM  del.icio.us digg NewsVine Reddit YahooMyWeb